Two weeks ago I said that I was going to lose a bit of weight so that I would win a bet with my friend. I got bored doing cardio and typical gym stuff, so I thought I’d try jiggling my fat to the tunes of Latina hip-hop music in the comfort of my own home. My older sister just happened to have a large Zumba DVD set with 9 discs, each with the purpose of zapping fat from my frame all the while turning me into the next J-Lo.
The disc I put into my Xbox explained that this would be a 45 minute session, but not a workout because they don’t like the word “workout”. It’s not a fun word, so they emphasize how much FUN this session is going to be, almost like you aren’t even working out! Two women and at least six other backups stand front and center. Their tan six packs judge my white fat pack and tell me that it’s time to dance and have some fun. They began to tap their right foot on the ground repeatedly before they started going full throttle into some random dance routine with salsa music blaring in the background.
I was unable to keep up and instead of trying to mimic each move, I ended up making up my own dance routine just to burn some calories. I looked like a seal with an extra chromosome for the entire 45 minute workout (sorry, fun session). My style of Zumba equates to flopping around the floor like the Miami Heat. Every member in the Zumba video had smiles on their faces as each muscle allowed them to move in seemingly impossible shapes. The people who were watching and moving along with the video, like me, were looking like they ate a whole package of War Heads.
I conquered this 45 minute video with every seal clap and bark I had in me. I told each person in the video to suck it and that I would see them next time.
Believe it or not, I actually had a lot of fun doing Zumba. I may not have done anything right, but I know I probably lost some body fat just by laughing at myself. However, I was distracted for a least half the video because I had to turn around every 5 seconds just to make sure no one was filming YouTube gold through my window.
My Seven Devils 